Dawning Thoughts

 Some people enjoy change, they get a thrill moving from one adventure to another without any fear. I admire these kinds of people, as I wish I had a fraction of their fearlessness. I think when I was younger I was more brave, but when I look back I'm not so sure a reconize that person any more. Whats funny is that I find that if I'm with people I trust then it's so much easier.... Speaking of change..........whats the hardest thing that happened in your life that caused a dramatic change in your life? For me, it was these things.... a mission for my church, marriage, children, and divorce. When I graduated high school I briefly went to college where I become very ill and had to return home, after seeing a doctor for a time I moved my mom to alaska. Now although Alaska is a very beautiful place it wasnt a place that fit my personality. When the opportunity arose to go to Texas to help my sister who was pregnant move to a new home I took it. Texas was wonderful, I lov

I have learned that I love quiet moments that are given, to stop from the rush of everyday, and stop and enjoy the things around me. I think this is possible no matter where you are.....It's just a matter of refocus. I think I have found doing this the easiest while in nature....I mean, what isnt more peaceful then listening to the birds and insects and enjoying a beautiful view, specially when the sun is out with a slight breeze. If your lucky enoung to live by a lake or beautiful mountains, a field of fragrant flowers, or even a field of flowing wheat blowing in a breeze, take the time to enjoy a quiet moment to listen and reflect. I have found quiet moments when watching my kids perform. I have been blessed to have very talented children who perform on stage. They do various things from plays, singing, dancing, playing instuments, to writing the scripts that are performed, and also behind the scence stuff as well. I am amazed every time. It fills me with joy to see how much

This is 'Baby Kitty". How many of you have had a pet that held a very special place in your heart? Baby was such a pet for me. I got her from a shelter as an adult on a trial basis at first. I was looking for a certain kind of cat, and well she worked out. I adopted her and gave her a forever home. I lost her last year. She died from natural causes, and I was holding her in my arms when she died. She was fighting it and I kissed her and told her it was ok, that she was loved, then she calmed down and died. I cried, only because I am selfish,I knew I would miss her, and I still do.  Our pets become part of our families and bring us just as much joy and saddnesss as our own flesh and blood does. Some people are dog people and some are cat people, personally I'm a cat person. I like how independant they are and that they lay on your lap and seem to know when you need them. I have a cat currently that I have raised since his birth and he is spoiled rotten but is very loving

I took this picture across the street from my home. I am fortunate to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth...The Pacific Northwest. I love nature. It's so simple and pure. Have you ever seen something like in this picture and stood there and contemplated just being? I remember taking a deep breath and just letting it out. Nature is so relaxing. I like how I can stand still, listening, and feeling everything around me, the wind, the sounds, and even the smells. It all allows me to connect to my environment, and to me appreciate it even more. Have you ever listened long enough to hear the trees creek, the leaves rustle, then the many different kinds of birds chirping, rustling in the trees or undergrowth, watched the ants on their different kinds of missions? Raising children these were all things that I loved pointing out to them....The world has so many little worlds on it, it's a truly amazing and beautiful place. 

What have I learned so far on my Journey? Well, I've learned that I'm still learning. I still discover new things about myself every day. I discover new things in the scriptures that pop out and it's an 'awe ha' moment...lol. I've learned new talents that I have...that's kinda funny, because its one of those face plant moments when you think, "Oh duh, well that makes sense." I've learned what my nature is, I am usually quiet and reserved, but I am an observer, very detail orientated, I try to look at a big picture taking in all the information and then form my own opinions on those observations, I'm not a people person and don't find social events very comfortable, being that I have a more introverted personality those situations cause a bit of anxiety. I have discovered however that I am a mother bear, and as mother bears do, I support my children and protect them....fiercely if need be.

I changed how I looked at life and myself when I was pregnant with my first child. I changed. I was so young and full of fears. I was very skinny and as my baby grew my tummy would bleed. I didn't feel like my husband was very supportive as he was very young as well, and our relationship so new. I did decide however that when my baby was born I wasn't going to work anymore. I decided to devote myself to being a Mom 100%, and through the years I have been blessed even after being divorced to be able to remain a stay at home Mom. I know there are many Moms out there that work and do the best they can, and I say to you Bravo.....This is my story however and I am pretty adamant that I did that right thing for my children. No one ever thought I would have children, I just didn't want anything to do with them. I discovered with my first child that it was completely different with my own. I had a bond, a connection that felt divine. I was being entrusted with a child that had

Growing up no one thought I would ever have any kids. Why, because I didn't want to have anything to do with them. I think I babysat one time, after that I always said no. I chose to babysit animals, mostly horses for our next door neighbor. Growing up I was totally a horse person. I loved the quiet time to think and talk to the horses. I spent hours and hours by myself. I was the youngest of eight children but being that my closest sibling was 5 years older then I, it felt more like growing up an only child. Over the years I have thought about how I felt about how I grew up, there are some things that shaped me that I believe altered my divine path. I think the number one thing, was that being so much younger then the rest of my siblings, I was always left out. I was always told I was to young to play games with them, to young to go on outings, and so I was hardly ever included...at least not enough for me to form any lasting memories of togetherness with my siblings. I a

I met my second Husband through scouting. We were both leaders and we both had sons close to the same age. I found him to be refreshingly fun and as time went by I felt like I had come home anytime I was with him. We met and were married rather quickly, which was our first mistake. Another mistake was that we didn't really discuss our different beliefs and how we would manage them before we got married. Huge mistake....he assumed I would give up my religion for his which for me wasn't something I would ever do. This caused a very big rift between us. Another really big difference was our parenting styles......I moved out so many times do to behavior I didn't want around my children. It was both good and bad. My children saw me stand up for my beliefs but it was tearing my husband and I apart. We had totally different ideas of what was right and wrong. Our moral views were different, our social views, and just about everything else. It was a total disaster. However the o

Hi again, this is me shortly after having knee surgery. (By the way this was many years ago.) And one of the many times I moved out and got my own place while being married to my second husband. Ok, about the knee surgery; here's the story, short and sweet.....I was playing basketball with my son and some scouts, came down wrong, dislocated my knee, broke the top part of the big bone in the lower part of my leg and totally obliterated my ACL. Sitting on the floor of the gym and seeing my knee I knew it was bad but I took ahold of my knee and popped it back into place. Oh man, if you have ever dislocated anything you know that it feels better when its put back into place but with all the other damage I was hurting pretty bad. I managed to drive myself half way to the hospital before the pain became to much and the fear that a deer would jump out in front  me became to great. I pulled over and called my sister. It just so happened that they were on their way home from a date and