Letting others learn from their trials
I was recently reminded by an experience my daughter has been going through the importance of letting others go through their trials. When she was in 7th grade she tried out for the basketball team. She found out she wasn't good enough to be on the A team and was put on the B team as a floater, this meant she got to play a little on both teams. She struggled with feelings that she really wasn't a part of either team, but she did not quit and worked hard. Her skills improved and her fellow teammates on both teams noticed. She learned a lot from this experience. She learned not to give up, to work hard and the rewards would come. Now she could have quit and had the attitude that it just wasn't fair, she could have blamed the coach and said they shouldn't have made her feel that way but she didn't.
On the flip side there's another girl who wanted to be popular, who wanted to be in school leadership, who wanted all the things another girl had worked hard for, who had lived in the area her whole life and new lots of people, was talented, respected, and was involved with her community. This friendly popular girl befriended this other girl and welcomed her into her circles when she moved here. They become quite good friends over that summer...…….then school started. Well this friendly girl started noticing that this new girl started to be a totally different person then then one she thought she new. She felt like she needed to get to know her all over again. This girl always wanted to be in the friendly girls groups in their school classes but the friendly girl noticed that every time she had something to add to the assignment the new girl would yell at her and say horrible things to her. That went on the entire year. The friendly girl after a while of this treatment decided to try to avoid the other girl and started spending less and less time around her. At the end of the year the new girl ran for office against the friendly girl and 2 other people. The new girl used her families money to buy sunglasses and other things to buy peoples votes. The friendly girl saw the things that were being done and said and didn't want anything to do with it. She put up posters and that was it. After the votes were counted the friendly girl had won. Everyone that ran against her congratulated her except the new girl.
This story continues as these two girls begin going to open gyms at the high school to prepare for high school cheer try outs. The friendly girl attending every open gym and was doing quite well when one practice when they were doing jumps she sprains her ankle really bad and has to go to the emergency room. Well she received a severe sprain. She was quite upset with herself and was on crutches for several weeks. Well while this friendly girl was injured the girl started bragging about herself telling everyone that she was guaranteed a spot on varsity and that the friendly girl wouldn't even make the team now because of her injury. However the friendly girls recovery was going quite well because of the girls doctor and being blessed by god to heal. She was able to go back to practice, and had really good communication with the coach about everything. She asked what she should do for try outs because of her injury that the doctor would let her do and had a great try out.
Now the other girl acted like a totally different person at try outs then she acted at the open gym practices, I personally saw her back talk the judges and when they said "excuse me?", she said "oh nothing".
Well one girl scored really high, and the other scored enough to be a floater, which meant she would be on JV unless a varsity girl couldn't make an away game for some reason.
Now on one of their practice days the coach had them all line up on a line and for everything she named off they would take so many steps forward...like if you went to morning work outs take 10 steps forward...the friendly girl was way out in the front, the new girl was way in the back because she hadn't done the work. This was a self awareness activity to teach them that if they want to succeed you have to put in the work. Well the new girl was offended, she thought it was humiliating, that it wasn't fair, that she didn't deserve to be where she was even though the only thing she had done was try to tare someone else down to get where she wanted instead of putting in the work. She told her parents how humiliating it was and instead of them letting her learn from her trial they marched into the school and demanded that the cheer coach be fired, thus denying their daughter and very crucial learning experience. The girl quit the team, her parents removed her from school and now the girl is saying that the friendly girl and her friend are bullying her because they don't want to hang out with her any more.
Ok, number one you cant covet someone else's life. All that does is cause great harm. Number two, there are consequences for your actions. When you treat people horribly they don't want to be your friend, and when other people catch on, they wont want to be your friend either. If her parents would have just let her learn from her trial and asked her the hard questions like 'why did that make you feel humiliated', 'why do think its not fair?', maybe she would have actually learned a huge lesson instead of all the damage it caused by trying to blame other people for it. What's not fair is saying that someone who doesn't put in the work deserves the same results as those that do put in the work.
On the flip side there's another girl who wanted to be popular, who wanted to be in school leadership, who wanted all the things another girl had worked hard for, who had lived in the area her whole life and new lots of people, was talented, respected, and was involved with her community. This friendly popular girl befriended this other girl and welcomed her into her circles when she moved here. They become quite good friends over that summer...…….then school started. Well this friendly girl started noticing that this new girl started to be a totally different person then then one she thought she new. She felt like she needed to get to know her all over again. This girl always wanted to be in the friendly girls groups in their school classes but the friendly girl noticed that every time she had something to add to the assignment the new girl would yell at her and say horrible things to her. That went on the entire year. The friendly girl after a while of this treatment decided to try to avoid the other girl and started spending less and less time around her. At the end of the year the new girl ran for office against the friendly girl and 2 other people. The new girl used her families money to buy sunglasses and other things to buy peoples votes. The friendly girl saw the things that were being done and said and didn't want anything to do with it. She put up posters and that was it. After the votes were counted the friendly girl had won. Everyone that ran against her congratulated her except the new girl.
This story continues as these two girls begin going to open gyms at the high school to prepare for high school cheer try outs. The friendly girl attending every open gym and was doing quite well when one practice when they were doing jumps she sprains her ankle really bad and has to go to the emergency room. Well she received a severe sprain. She was quite upset with herself and was on crutches for several weeks. Well while this friendly girl was injured the girl started bragging about herself telling everyone that she was guaranteed a spot on varsity and that the friendly girl wouldn't even make the team now because of her injury. However the friendly girls recovery was going quite well because of the girls doctor and being blessed by god to heal. She was able to go back to practice, and had really good communication with the coach about everything. She asked what she should do for try outs because of her injury that the doctor would let her do and had a great try out.
Now the other girl acted like a totally different person at try outs then she acted at the open gym practices, I personally saw her back talk the judges and when they said "excuse me?", she said "oh nothing".
Well one girl scored really high, and the other scored enough to be a floater, which meant she would be on JV unless a varsity girl couldn't make an away game for some reason.
Now on one of their practice days the coach had them all line up on a line and for everything she named off they would take so many steps forward...like if you went to morning work outs take 10 steps forward...the friendly girl was way out in the front, the new girl was way in the back because she hadn't done the work. This was a self awareness activity to teach them that if they want to succeed you have to put in the work. Well the new girl was offended, she thought it was humiliating, that it wasn't fair, that she didn't deserve to be where she was even though the only thing she had done was try to tare someone else down to get where she wanted instead of putting in the work. She told her parents how humiliating it was and instead of them letting her learn from her trial they marched into the school and demanded that the cheer coach be fired, thus denying their daughter and very crucial learning experience. The girl quit the team, her parents removed her from school and now the girl is saying that the friendly girl and her friend are bullying her because they don't want to hang out with her any more.
Ok, number one you cant covet someone else's life. All that does is cause great harm. Number two, there are consequences for your actions. When you treat people horribly they don't want to be your friend, and when other people catch on, they wont want to be your friend either. If her parents would have just let her learn from her trial and asked her the hard questions like 'why did that make you feel humiliated', 'why do think its not fair?', maybe she would have actually learned a huge lesson instead of all the damage it caused by trying to blame other people for it. What's not fair is saying that someone who doesn't put in the work deserves the same results as those that do put in the work.
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