Heartache has been a Constant Companion


My life has definitely had it's share of ups and downs. I have tried to remain strong and positive through some very tuff times in my life. In the depths of trial, depending on what it was, I have felt the deepest sadness and heartache. I experienced death in my family starting with a brother when I was yet a babe....Lost my father 18 days after my 16th birthday, lost another brother while I was in high school. I was home alone when my father died. My mom left me home alone to go to my brothers funeral....I remember feeling so alone and forgotten by my whole family. I lost a couple of very close friends in high school and fell apart. I still think of them often.When my mom died I was an adult but my children were spending the summer with their dad, I had just found out that my current husband was cheating on me and my mom had been my best friend. I had no family support...My heart hurt so bad. Today as I write this my heart is aching at how mean people can be. I am guilty of this as well and hope one day to have the pure love of Christ in my heart, to see with his eyes instead of my own limited vision.

I am glad that God knows what is in our hearts. I am also glad that through all those things I wasn't completely alone. I felt the savior with me. I felt his loving arms around me when I thought I just couldn't endure anymore pain. I am grateful that he protected me in some pretty scary situations, lifted me when all I could do is pray and cry. I am grateful that he spoke to my heart to not give up and gave me strength that I didn't know I had. I am grateful that he let me see joy in the darkness. The purpose that life still had in the larger realm of things. I have felt the deepest of loves, it was betrayed but I rejoice in that I got to experience what it is like to truly love someone, and I look forward to someday having that kind of love again but with someone who truly wants that kind of love as well. The way I see it is that I experienced all those things to truly know and appreciate what is yet to come. I have faith in my savior, he is my rock, he lifts me up, he believes in me, he is my strength, and my guide. I will wait on the Lord and his timing.

Life is full of things that distract us from our divine purpose. There are so many things that the adversary uses to try to make us stumble, or even completely knock us off the right path. I hope and pray for all of us to help one another stay close to our savior. Be united in Christ. Have compassion for each other. Try to see each other as Jesus sees us. There are many of us that still hurt on the inside. Lets all try to help rather then hinder. Be more patient, be more tolerant, just be more.
 

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